So i spoke to him last night at length - and I know I've hurt myself and him all over again. But the small silver lining is that he didn't tell her that he was getting registered for marriage - it means that he and she was not that authentically close after all. It means that to some extent, she was also in the dark about his real intentions and feelings.
When I asked him whether they spoke about their future together, and whether he ever thought about what they can be in the longer term - he said that they didn't talk about it and he didn't think about it either. How irresponsible! and to add salt, he said that she said that she will never pressure him to do anything. How seemingly altruistic. I remember saying those exact words to him when we were first going out too.
Every day i'm going from 'yes I can do this and make this happen and we can still live happily ever after' to 'no way this is not going to work ever, and I need to punish him so severely that he will never hurt another in this way again'. it's still a mix of feelings.
He also said that I'm slimmer and prettier than her. and younger. I mean seriously, WHY??? why did you do it then. Is it her personality that is different? she's kinder, sweeter, more gentle, calm, and more compatible with yours? and in the back of my head, i'm thinking that if you were to wait for her to divorce her husband, she's gonna be like 38 or 39 and by the time you marry her, you'll both be 40. Is that really a realistic thing to do???
I can't believe I started a blog on this but i have no other place to put my thoughts down.
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