How best to proceed

I've been reading up on how to have a happy relationship and grow in love, and there's a lot I can do. I've learned what is probably most important to H and what he probably got from her. I've also learned that my behaviour took away love that we had, albeit was in response to his behaviour towards me.

I think I was not very affectionate the last few months. I was demanding and critical of him all the time because I felt that what happened last year and that he had not proposed, took away so much of my desire to love him back. I was in the mode of, if he really wants me then he has to try harder and I've already given enough.

With that kind of mindset, obviously his needs were not met. He did complain a number of times that I ruin happy weekends by being unpleasant and not being sociable to his friends and family.

He also has a need for domestic support, and I remember a number of times where he would be very pleased when I cooked for his family or friends. He also complained often that I didn't keep the place neat and my hair was always dropping on the floor.

He needs me to look attractive. He always pointed it out when I dressed sloppily, or if I had a stain, or if my underwear elastic was loose. He liked me to dress up often, even if it meant overdressing for the occasion.

He liked companionship for his recreational activities. I used to accompany him all the time at the beach and I stopped doing that. I used to tag along when he went out with friends and I stopped doing that too. There were a couple of occasions where he really wanted me to join him in having drinks with some acquaintances and I simply refused. He didn't ask me much the last few months.

He liked me to be pleasant and considerate about others. When I was selfish, it turned him away.

Now that I know all this, I'm trying to take small steps in doing more of these. I hope it works. But often I feel myself getting insecure and doing all the wrong things again, the things that satisfy me but not him. How do I overcome my bad habits?