Sweeter days

Yesterday we spent most of our time together again, except for a few hours when he went windsurfing. I bought the book Fall in love, Stay in love by Dr Harley and again I realized how much I was doing to destroy the love we had with my negativity, my disagreements and angry outbursts. It doesn't excuse what H did to me but it helped me understand why he went elsewhere to get his emotional needs met.

So I did a lot of laundry, packed up the house a little and when he came home, he was indeed happy to find out that I've done a bit for the house.

When I told him I bought the book and that there is a questionnaire on his needs, he said that he should take it as well. Which he did after dinner out and it apparently made him realize that I have been fulfilling most of his needs and that things were not that bad. Then I think it made him question himself as to why he had the affair in the first place.

Then we watched glee, and went to bed and had a really great bedroom time because for the first time since I moved back, He took as much initiative as me in getting into it. I thought it showed that his feelings may be returning.

This morning I asked him how he felt and he had this really perplexed look and said that he was feeling discomfort that he couldn't really remember why he had felt there was something wrong or missing in our relationship. He felt that things are good again but was worried that it was not real.

Then this morning on whatsapp we exchanged our thoughts about each other and I realized that I hadn't been complimenting him for a long time. I told him all the positive things that I know of him and he responded with enthusiasm. I think he was just waiting for endorsement from me- to know that I think he is great. That could have been one of the things he really needed and was seeking.

He also used the words entangled and that he played with fire and that he was choking and sinking because of what he did. I hope it kind of means that he views the affair as something external to us, and that at the core it is still him and me.