After I came home from drinks with friend last night, and when we were trying to sleep, she messaged again. Apparently it was that her husband was asking her for details incessantly. But this was at 230am on a weekday night. So I can tell that she's feeling pretty desperate.
At first he told me it was his friend J. I didn't believe him and I asked him nicely that if it's her, it's ok. And we should be able to be honest with each other. He admitted that it was her but that he had not been replying to her messages. I told myself that even if I wanted to argue about this, I should probably not do it at 3 in the morning. So for the first time since this whole thing happened, I could calm my feelings with reason. Progress I suppose.
This morning I told him very calmly and pleasantly that if he really cannot cut all communications with her, it's doomed to fail so I will have to ask him to move out. He understands and I presented him the option of making it clear to her that he cannot keep in contact, or to block her on his whatsapp so that he won't see her SMSes. I think he's mulling over that.
Thinking it over, smsing him at 3 in the morning is definitely not considerate behaviour so perhaps her unhappiness and true character is now coming through. I think it really helps him too that I am so nice and calm and pleasant at home. There is nothing to complain about to her anymore you see. I would recommend this sort of behavior for anyone struggling with a husband having an affair.
Mind over matter! It can be done.
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