Funny thing happened at the piano recital- made a new friend, this Frenchman who sat next to me during the concert and we struck up a nice conversation. I was surprised, really, because I had my glasses on, no trace of makeup, wearing a top and jeans because I didn't expect to see anyone there and I just rolled out of bed.
And even more surprised when he asked if I'd like to join him for dinner and whether I knew anyplace nearby. I surprised myself by driving him to Fong seng, around the corner and we had a nice supper and talked for an hour and half.
It was nice to know that I could still talk and have interesting chats with other men. I think this guy was probably interested in making new friends, and since he was due to fly back to France for vacation this coming wk I didn't have to take anything seriously. But it was fun and lighthearted and even though I looked my worst, he made me feel attractive. Which was a nice thing that happened today. Gives me a bit of confidence and hope for whatever I get in future.
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Showing posts with label piano. Show all posts
Showing posts with label piano. Show all posts
Saturday, 18 June 2011
Thursday, 16 June 2011
Piano
Playing the piano started as a desire to fulfill my decade old dream to complete the ABRSM grade 8. I managed to do that successfully after a year and a half of hard work. after finishing my exams last September, I continued along as I eventually may want to take the diploma.
But after the discovery of H's affair, piano became an outlet for my pain and devastation. Especially so because I had a piano recital 2 wks after d-day. My teacher asked me to play the moonlight sonata by Beethoven and Clair de Lune by Debussy.
How I looked forward to playing each day shortly after d-day! It was my one time where I could pour out all the ugliness and terrible thoughts and turn them into something terribly beautiful. I think I had a something of a transformation as a musician then, as I played the moonlight over and over until every note resonated with my pain.
I think the one good thing that came out of this event is that my ears and heart got connected. I feel like I can feel the music now. It goes beyond the eardrums and brain- it shimmers and reverberates in my chest. It makes me cry and I can feel it crushingly beautiful and yet terrible and forelorn and yet again giving me strength and certainty that I still have something, I've grasped something real for me.
I'm not even a mediocre pianist and I'm still struggling technically, but now at least I have a deep seated emotion that I feel compelled to convey. I think that is one of the things that I have to be thankful for.
Piano concert tonight, janina fiakowska is playing Chopin and Liszt. Let's see if my heart is still in enough pain to hear the music for it's true worth.
But after the discovery of H's affair, piano became an outlet for my pain and devastation. Especially so because I had a piano recital 2 wks after d-day. My teacher asked me to play the moonlight sonata by Beethoven and Clair de Lune by Debussy.
How I looked forward to playing each day shortly after d-day! It was my one time where I could pour out all the ugliness and terrible thoughts and turn them into something terribly beautiful. I think I had a something of a transformation as a musician then, as I played the moonlight over and over until every note resonated with my pain.
I think the one good thing that came out of this event is that my ears and heart got connected. I feel like I can feel the music now. It goes beyond the eardrums and brain- it shimmers and reverberates in my chest. It makes me cry and I can feel it crushingly beautiful and yet terrible and forelorn and yet again giving me strength and certainty that I still have something, I've grasped something real for me.
I'm not even a mediocre pianist and I'm still struggling technically, but now at least I have a deep seated emotion that I feel compelled to convey. I think that is one of the things that I have to be thankful for.
Piano concert tonight, janina fiakowska is playing Chopin and Liszt. Let's see if my heart is still in enough pain to hear the music for it's true worth.
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