Denial

I asked him on whatsapp if he couldn't decide because he was still in love with her. He didn't reply.

I'm coming out of denial and the scenery ain't good. I'm slowly losing all hope and the positive feelings I had last week. How much torture does God want me to go through?

I think I'm going to get some sort of nervous breakdown soon if I don't sort this out. But, the more I try to force a decision, the further I get in his heart. And why should I have to grovel? Why do I have to be the one to give and give and give?

It should really be him wining and dining and sending me flowers and gifts to get me back. I feel so wretched I can't even work. This is utter hell and I don't know what I did to deserve all this.

How do I get to a better place? I think at times like these the silence of death sounds really appealing. And yet I know I can't and that bring me through fresh hell.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone